FAQs

The meaning of Bat Mitzvah is “daughter of the commandments.” A Bat Mitzvah is a girl’s religious coming of age, representing a public as well as personal commitment to ethical and communal responsibility. We mark the occasion by giving the Bat Mitzvah the honor of reading from the Torah before the community.   

The Torah

The Torah is the foundation of Judaism and our most sacred text. Each week, we read and study a section of the torah.  Eva's parsha (portion) is a section of the story of the Jews wandering in the Sinai Desert.  

Physically, the torah is a scroll upon which the Five Books of Moses are written by a scribe in the original Hebrew. The scroll is made of parchment, and the words must be accurate to the letter. A scribe may work on a Torah for a year or more. Because the Torah is so spiritually valuable, it is not touched by hands, which have natural oils on them that could harm the parchment. Instead, rollers are used to position the scroll to the appropriate section, and a pointer (or yad in Hebrew) is used to follow the reading.  

The Bima

A bimah (sometimes spelled "bima" or "bimah") is a raised platform located in the synagogue from which various parts of Jewish religious services are conducted. 

Siddur

A siddur is a Jewish prayer book that contains the texts of prayers and blessings for various occasions and ceremonies, including the three daily prayer services—Shacharit (morning), Mincha (afternoon), and Maariv (evening)—as well as special prayers for Shabbat and Jewish holidays. The prayers and hymns will displayed on screens on either side of the bima, and you may also follow along in the Siddur if you would like. Siddurs are written in the Hebrew style of right to left.

Tallis

The Tallis is a prayer shawl. It covers the shoulders and has fringes with knots (tzitzit in Hebrew) on each of its corners. There are 613 knots to remind us of the 613 commandments (mitzvot in Hebrew) given by God in the Torah. Today, Eva will wear a tallis for the first time.  

Kippah  

The kippah, or yarmulke, is a head covering which Jews customarily wear as a sign of reverence to God. Non-Jews are not expected to wear a kippah, but if you would like to we have provided a basket near the prayer books.

Sitting and Standing

Jewish worship services are filled with frequent directions to stand for particular prayers and sit for others. Take your cue from the rabbi’s instructions. Standing and sitting in a Jewish service does not constitute any affirmation of religious belief, it is merely a sign of respect. There may also be instructions to bow at certain parts of the service, and because a bow or prostration is a religiously significant act, feel free to remain standing or sitting as you wish at that point.

The term "B'nei Mitzvah" is the plural form of "Bar Mitzvah" (for boys) and "Bat Mitzvah" (for girls). It literally translates to "sons of the commandment" or "children of the commandment." The term is often used when more than one child is celebrating this coming-of-age ritual at the same time. This could include siblings, cousins, or simply multiple individuals within the same congregation who are marking this milestone together.

In gender-neutral or plural contexts, some communities also use the term "B'nai Mitzvah," which serves the same function as "B'nei Mitzvah."

Significance

• Coming of Age: Becoming a B'nei Mitzvah marks the age at which Jewish children are considered morally and ethically responsible for their own actions. Traditionally, this age is 13 for boys and 12 or 13 for girls, depending on the specific Jewish tradition.

• Torah Reading: Typically, the B'nei Mitzvah will be called to the Torah to recite an aliyah during a Saturday morning Shabbat service. This is a significant rite of passage, symbolizing their new status as adults in the Jewish community.

• Preparation: Preparing for the B'nei Mitzvah often involves several months or even years of study, including Hebrew school attendance, learning Torah portions, and sometimes undertaking a community service project.

• Family and Community: The event is a communal as well as a family milestone. Family members often receive aliyot (plural of aliyah) or other honors during the service, and it's customary for the family to sponsor a Kiddush (communal meal) afterwards.

• Speeches and Teachings: In addition to reading from the Torah, the B'nei Mitzvah usually give a D'var Torah, a speech offering insight or commentary on the Torah portion being read. This serves to demonstrate their understanding of and commitment to Jewish scholarship and values.

• Celebration: Following the religious ceremony, it is customary to have a celebration that may range from a simple meal to a lavish party, depending on the family's preferences and resources.

So, when you hear the term "B'nei Mitzvah," it generally implies a multi-faceted event marking the religious and communal coming-of-age for more than one Jewish young adult. It's a profound moment that involves both deep personal commitment and communal acknowledgement, bridging the gap between childhood and adulthood in the context of Jewish faith and community.

Dinner will begin with the three basic rituals of Shabbat: candle lighting, kiddush, and ha'motzi. The candles are lit before sunset on Friday evening, 18 minutes before sundown in most communities. This marks the beginning of the Shabbat. When combined, these blessings sanctify the Shabbat meal and create a comprehensive ritual experience.

Candle Lighting

The act of lighting the candles represents the ushering in of the Shabbat, turning it from an abstract concept into a tangible reality. It's a way to differentiate between the sacred time of Shabbat and the regular, mundane days of the week. The candles also symbolize the light of the Torah and the dual commandments to "remember" and "observe" the Shabbat. 

The lighting of the Shabbat candles is typically done by the woman of the household, though in her absence, a man may perform the ritual. Two candles are generally used, although the number can vary in some customs.  After lighting the candles, it’s customary for the person lighting them to wave their hands over the candles, drawing the light toward them, and then to cover their eyes while reciting the blessing. This captures a moment of personal reflection and spirituality.

 We will invite all women present to light a candle, should they wish. 

Kiddush

The act of reciting Kiddush serves as a testimony to the creation of the world and the specialness of the day, be it Shabbat or a festival. It's a way to elevate the mundane act of eating and drinking to the level of the sacred. Kiddush is the sanctification of the Sabbath or a Jewish festival, generally performed over a cup of wine or grape juice. The term "Kiddush" itself means "sanctification" in Hebrew. A blessing is recited over the wine, followed by a specific prayer that varies depending on the day. Then a sip of the wine is taken, and it's customary to share the wine with all participants at the table.

Ha'Motzi

The "HaMotzi" is a Jewish blessing recited over bread. The term "HaMotzi" is derived from the Hebrew word "hotzei," which means "to bring forth," referring to bread that comes forth from the earth.

The blessing is a moment to pause and express gratitude for the most basic form of sustenance, bread. In doing so, it recognizes God as the ultimate source of all nourishment and sustenance. The blessing acknowledges the natural process by which bread is made, beginning with the growth of grains from the earth. It's a nod to the interconnectedness of God, humanity, and the earth. Reciting HaMotzi marks the formal beginning of a meal, particularly on Shabbat and Jewish holidays. It sets the tone for the meal as an act that is not just physical but also spiritual.

After the blessing, it's customary to break the bread and share it with everyone at the table, emphasizing community and inclusivity. On Shabbat, it's customary to have two whole loaves of challah, representing the double portion of manna that the Israelites received on Fridays while wandering in the desert.

• Kabbalat Shabbat: Psalms and hymns welcoming the Sabbath

• Maariv: The evening prayer service.

• Candle Lighting: This ritual officially marks the beginning of Shabbat. In some communities, the B'nei Mitzvah or their family members may light the candles.

• Kiddush and Motzi: After the service, it's customary for Kiddush (blessing over wine) and Motzi (blessing over bread) to be recited.

• Oneg Shabbat: This is a social gathering with snacks, sweets, and refreshments. It's a time for the community to socialize and offer congratulations to the B'nei Mitzvah and their family. An Oneg is generally open to everyone, including guests and non-members of a congregation. 

• Shacharit is the morning prayer service, including morning blessings, psalms, hymns, traditional prayers, and reading of the Torah.

• Torah Procession: When the Torah is taken out of the Ark and paraded around the congregation, people often touch it with the corner of their prayer shawl (tallit), a siddur (prayer book), or even their hand, and then kiss the object that touched the Torah. This is a sign of respect and veneration for the sacred text.

• Aliyot: An "Aliyah" is an honor granted to a member of a Jewish congregation during a Torah service. The term means "ascent" or "going up" in Hebrew, which metaphorically signifies the act of ascending the bimah (the raised platform in a synagogue) to recite or chant the blessings before and after a portion of the Torah is read. 

• Torah Reading: The weekly portion of the Torah is chanted in Hebrew.

• Haftarah: A section from the Prophets that usually relates to the Torah portion of the week.

• D'var Torah: After the readings, this is a speech interpreting the Torah and Haftarah portions, often tying in personal experiences or contemporary issues.

• Kiddush: Like the Oneg Shabbat, this is a social gathering with snacks, sweets, and refreshments. It's a time for the community to socialize and offer congratulations to the B'nei Mitzvah and their family. An Oneg is generally open to everyone, including guests and non-members of a congregation. 

• Photographs: The family will also take photographs following the service from the bima.

Choosing a gift for a B'nei Mitzvah can be a thoughtful way to acknowledge this significant milestone. While gifts are welcome, they are not required, and we invite you to give whatever is within your means.

• Cash: A very traditional gift, often given in multiples of 18, which symbolizes "chai" or life in Hebrew. Any monetary gifts from this milestone will be invested for Eva until she turns 18.

• Jewelry or Custom Artwork: Something that reflects the B'nei Mitzvah’s interests but also has a Jewish theme.

• Donation: Making a charitable donation in the B'nei Mitzvah's name can teach the importance of "tzedakah" (charitable giving) and can be especially meaningful if it’s a cause they care about.

Save the date for Arianna's bat mitzvah on November 22, 2025.  We'll have a triple mitzvah - bat mitzvah, Thanksgiving, and birthday celebration!